Cafe Victoria

Reading: Slowing, Meg Whitman (running for the California Republican Governor nomination) book “The Power of Many”, it is not that easy to read and take care of Sam as I thought. My magizines have been getting more attention-Real Simple, Oprah and Body and Soul.
Watching: Time fly by. 6 weeks left of my maternity leave.
Thankful for: Baby Sam’s smiles and laugh.
Looking forward to: weekend hikes. Come on spring warm weather, stay with us!

2 Lessons for New Mom’s (There are many! But here are two that are worth learning)

Lesson 1: JOIN A MOM”S SUPPORT GROUP: I’m coming up on 2 months of being a new mom and I would have to say, the best lesson I’ve learned is finding a mom’s support group. I joined the Thursday 11am, new born to 5 months mom’s group at the Parent Center located at Keller’s Children Store in San Rafael. It has been really great to share what has been going on with Sam, along with getting advice on sleep patterns, nursing and his up-coming shots. Their web site is www.theparentscenter.com.

Lesson 2: GIRL PALS: In the September 2009 issue of Pregnancy, author Sasha Brown Worsham, talks about the 5 Gal Pals every new mom should have. After reading her article, I’ve started to look at my girlfriends in a new whole light. Here is a highlight from the article. Hope it helps you!
Girlfriend 1: The Supportive Fellow Mom, “I’ll watch the kids,” she says with a smile, and you know you will return the favor”
Girlfriend 2: The Fun, Still-Single Girlfriend: She reminds you that sometimes discussing the latest celebrity fashion faux pas is all you need to shake a rut.
Girlfriend 3: The One Who Tell It Like It is: She talks you off the mommy ledge and hands you your bootstraps.
Girlfriend 4: The Motivator: She walks you through losing the baby weight, plans trips to the museum, and reminds you to keep moving even when you want to sleep.
Girlfriend 5: The Mommy Peer: Her child is the same age as yours. Bring cookies to play dates and you’ll be friends for life.

During one of my many prenatal doctor visits, I found this quote in a parenting magazine from Jennifer Weiner, author of “Good in Bed”, and “In Her Shoes”, and mother of a 3 year old. I’ve had it up on my bulletin board in our office. Sam turned 6 weeks on Friday and I have a whole new respect and appreciation for moms and dads of new borns, toddlers, etc. You never really know what it is like until you walk in their shoes.  I’ve come to learn that you can never plan on getting enough sleep or folding that basket of laundry, or taking a long shower. This quote reminded me that it’s okay and that I’m still rocking!
“Mom Power
The most profound lesson of motherhood has been making peace with ‘good enough’. No matter how hard you try, there’s going to be a corner of the house that stays cluttered, a deadline that get missed, laundry that stays in the dryer for days. It took me 35 years and one little girl to finally figure out that I’ll never be perfect-and that, at least for now, is perfectly okay.”–Jennifer Weiner

Reading: Went back to Dan Brown, then saw Meg Whitman (running for the California Republican Governor nomination) book at Borders called “The Power of Many”. So far so good.
Watching: Sam discover shapes and sounds.
Thankful: For living in walking distance to restaurants, a Starbucks, and the San Fransisco Bay.
Looking forward to: Easter Sunday “Meet Sam” family lunch and anytime I can catch up on some sleep

I’ve decided to start a new category on my blog called “Motherhood”. I envision it as a chance to share things I’m learning along away the way of being a mom. To kick it off, I must share my top 5 “to do” to help me with the “super mom” mentality that comes with being a new mom. I read about it before Sam came but now that I’m in it, I can totally understand how women tackle the super mom complex daily. So to help me, I have my top 5 things I tell myself I only have to do.  And it is okay too if some days I only do 2 out 5, 4 out of 5, etc.
1. Feed Sam, Feed Self (very important, especially with keeping up the energy and milk supply)
2. Sleep when Sam Sleeps
3. 15 minute check in with Matthias (that means talking with no t.v. on, computer, phone, etc.)
4. Clean the kitchen (it is amazing how it makes you feel)
5. Make the bed and/or shower (I read about the making the bed in Real Simple. This woman shared how it was her one thing in the day that gave her a sense of finishing something.)

What better way to market your college than to have your men’s basketball team end up in the NCAA Sweet Sixteen, or Elite Eight. I remember when I was on National Student Exchange in 1997-1998 at Rhode Island College and I think it was Providence College or Rhode Island University made it into the Elite Eight. For the first time, those colleges were on the map! And my friends back at Sonoma State remembered that I was gone..and were like “is that where you are V”? Best advertising ever!

Matthias and I picks (random and researched):
Vic’s got Northern Iowa, Matthias has Michigan St.
V-got Tennesse, M-Ohio St.
V-Syracuse, M-Butler
V-Kansas St., M-Xavier
V-Cornell, M-Kentucky
V-West Virgina, M-Washington
V-Duke (wish is was Cal), M-Purdue
V-St Mary’s (Yay for the local team!), M-Baylor

Reading: Finished “Committed” by Elizabeth Gilbert. Highly recommend it! It was a great read. Now it’s either going back to Dan Brown or searching for baby topics on Google.
Watching: “World News with Diane Sawyer”. At first I wasn’t too sure about her, but now I think she rocks. The news is smooth, great stories, and her empathy reminds me of Peter Jennings.
Thankful: For our son Sam. I feel so blessed and learning so much too.
Looking forward to: baby yoga

Last week, I finished the additional course that was added to my graduate degree program. As I mention in my post of Sat. March 14, 2009, I had learned the graduate program I graduated from more than a year ago added one more course requirement and changed the degree to Master of Science in College Counseling and Student Development. It originally was called Master of Education in College Student Affairs (CSA).  I made the choice to go ahead and take this additional course  because at many community college campuses across CA, to be able to teach in their counseling division or apply to be a faculty member, applicants must have “counseling” in the degree. Which ended up being one of the reasons  APU updated their Master of Education in College Student Affairs program. Now that I have completed the Career Counseling and Development, I believe that the following additional 12 units from APU’s past CSA program makes me and many other past graduates qualified to join counseling divisions. I strongly believe that Student Affairs professionals and Community College Counselors have a lot in common. We each share a common passion to be part of the support college students need to be successful both in and outside the classroom. Our training might be slightly different, but the focus towards the college experience is still there.

APU College Student Affairs/ now called Master of Science in College Counseling and Student Development Program Course Descriptions with “Counseling Focus”:

CSA 552: The Process of Adult Development (3 unit) Students study and critique selected human development theories relevant to the process of being and becoming an adult. An overview of models for translating theory to practice and assessment techniques to be applied to individuals, groups, and the environment is provided.

CSA 583: Counseling Issues and Practice (3 unit) Conflict, crisis, and dysfunctional behavior on the college campus are examined. Specific attention is given to the key issues relevant to culturally diverse student populations, including prejudice, substance abuse, promiscuity, suicide, cults, and eating disorders. An opportunity for the development of skills applicable to college student affairs roles is provided through laboratory experience/practice.

CSA 563: Counseling: The Helping Relationship (3 unit) This course includes an introduction to and overview of various theoretical approaches to the helping relationship and an examination of helping techniques (with culturally diverse populations) as applied through advising, crisis intervention, and consultation roles. Behavior development and change as an interpersonal process is addressed. Practice in role-playing situations involving various helping and human relations skills is included.

CSA 573: Career Counseling and Development (3)  This course provides a comprehensive review of career theory, as well as resources and techniques utilized in assisting individuals to make informed educational and career choices. An exploration of changing concepts of work and careers and their implications for career counseling are emphasized. A focus on the relationship of career to other issues of counseling and development is addressed.

CSA 562: Today’s College Students (3 unit) Students are provided with a review and analysis of the ecology of college students in contemporary American higher education. Student characteristics, subcultures, values, beliefs, lifestyles, and other critical variables are examined in relation to assessment methods and policy/program implications.

CSA 598: Special Topics: Strength Implementation in Higher Education (3 unit) This course will introduce a strengths-based philosophy and assessment tool for higher education.  Applications of strengths-based philosophy for personal development, leadership, individual student development, student team development, and institutional culture change will be discussed.  Students will develop curricula for strengths implementation into both the curriculum and co-curriculum.

Taken from: http://www.apu.edu/bas/csdol/studentdevelopment/courses/

I recently came across the Glee recording of “Defying Gravity” from the musical Wicked on YouTube. It got me thinking about all the things that have happen in the last year that has ‘defying gravity’ or another way of seeing it- took risk.
-the show “Glee”.
-for those who let go of one job and took another or let a job go to find the one meant for them.
-for those who took the leap of marriage.
-investing in your health, future.
-having a baby.
-saying yes when you thought you wanted to say no and then saying no when you know yourself too well and would have said yes.

I’ve been on maternity leave for 2 1/2 weeks now. My first real break from work in a really long time. I’ve done a pretty good job of not responding to work emails. I check my work email maybe every other day to clean out junk email. I think once the baby comes, I will find myself having no time to even think about checking it. However, what I am realizing about myself is how important my friendships and feeling connected to people is to me. My job in the field of student affairs naturally has me connect with people all day. For years, my days were filled with daily student interaction, meetings, and checking in with other staff at lunch time. I also do work that has me connect groups of people to each other. Now, my daily interaction is with people in my yoga class, at a local restaurant, grocery store, etc.  I have this desire to start a mini mom’s group/club from the women and men in our weekly labor classes. Something, I would totally encourage if I was leading the class.

I am scheduled to return to work June 1. I will keep you posted on how I make the transition into motherhood and how I start to see my career in my life. Right now, I see becoming a mom as an extension of myself, kind of the same way I see my work in student affairs. It will be fun to see how many mom groups I connect with. I hope at least one. I’m also interested in how I will view myself  and work down the road.